[fic] thinking of you (when i'm with him)

[pairofraggedclaws]

Title: thinking of you (when i'm with him)
Fandom: 9-1-1
Rating: E
Word count: 2792
Characters/pairings: Eddie/Josh, Buddie pre-slash
Summary: Eddie hooks up with Josh, and it's not not about Buck.

 

They’re all out at the bar, and Eddie ends up at the far end of the table with only Josh to talk to.

“I hear you’re gay now,” Josh says after a while.

“That’s…” Correcting Josh when he’s wrong is as good as a high, but Eddie’s really not interested in explaining the intricacies of his sexuality to Josh, or possibly anyone. “Sure, whatever.”

“No?” Josh says.

Eddie shrugs belligerently. Josh brings out an astonishing level of rudeness in him. By deserving it.

“I really should’ve known,” Josh says with a magnificent roll of his eyes. “Not many people can be more of a cunt than I am.”

Beer goes down the wrong pipe. Josh watches him splutter and try to clear his throat with an amused slant to his mouth.

“I am not a cunt,” Eddie says eventually.

“Relax, Eddie, it was a compliment,” Josh says.

“Really.”

“You have a talent that not many people have.” Josh is clearly laughing at him, and Eddie is fine with that and, in fact, great at handling being laughed at. “You’ve got that broody thing, too. And a hot bod. I’d say you should be killing it the gay scene of LA, but…”

Josh so clearly wants Eddie to take the bait, and Eddie doesn’t like letting Josh win, Eddie refuses to let Josh win. On the other hand, Eddie has to know.

“But what,” he snaps, setting down his beer.

“Oh, well, if you’re gonna get upset about it,” Josh says, acting faux-offended. Eddie waits but Josh just looks at him and stirs his cocktail.

“I could be picking up guys,” Eddie says. “If I wanted to.”

“Is that so,’ Josh says. “So you just don’t want to? From where I’m standing, it looks more like your besotted mopey sad man vibes are getting in the way.”

“I’m not – “ Eddie glances at Buck reflexively, laughing at the other end of the table. He clears his throat. “No.”

“Oh, Eddie,” Josh sighs. “Tragic. It’s not hot, babe.”

“So I’m not hot,” Eddie says, and tries to stop the next ridiculous words out his mouth. “You know, I got offered a modeling job once.”

Josh laughs at him. Eddie’s going hot over his own defensive tone of voice, and the fact that he brought that up at all. It was a funny story he shared with his high school friends, some recruiter coming up to him at the mall to ask if he’d ever thought about it. He hasn’t thought about it in years – he’s never used it as some anecdote to prove something, and he doesn’t have anything to prove to fucking Josh of all people. Eddie’s ears burn.

“You’re cute when you’re all riled up like this,” Josh says, and gives Eddie’s upper arm a squeeze. “Don’t worry, I totally believe you could have been a model.”

Eddie looks at Josh’s hand, back at his face. The space between them breaks into component parts and rearranges itself into a new shape. “Is – Are you flirting with me right now?”

“Would that be a bad thing?” Josh asks, insouciant.

“Do you always flirt with insults?” Eddie doesn’t move away from Josh’s hand.

“Only when I know I’m flirting with someone who can keep up,” Josh says. “It’s fun. I’m having fun. Aren’t you?” He takes his hand back to stir his drink.

Eddie drinks beer, watching him. Josh looks utterly confident, like he knows Eddie’s answer – or no, more like he’ll be fine with the outcome of his flirtation, whatever it is. And Josh looks back at Eddie with dark, lovely eyes, and he smiles. Eddie’s never noticed how sweet his smile is, a little lopsided, blooming out of nowhere and changing his whole face.

A smile grows on Eddie’s face in slow motion. “Yeah,” he says. Means it. Eddie’s always liked to spar, when it’s with someone who can challenge him.

“There you go. You don’t need to be so difficult about everything, you know,” Josh says, in a way that suggests maybe he prefers Eddie difficult.

“I’m not difficult,” Eddie says. He settles back in his seat, lets his legs sprawl wide, and watches Josh look him up and down.

Josh does a slow blink that makes Eddie tap his foot restlessly a few times. “Does that mean you’re...easy?”

“Easiest guy in town,” Eddie says with sugar-coated sincerity. “Everyone says so.” He drops the act, cracking a smile when Josh laughs.

“Oh, so he does have a sense of humor.” Josh shoots him a sly glance. “You know,” he says, “I don’t think I know where the bathroom is here.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to show you,” Eddie says, and grins. It’s fun, it is fun.

They stand together, and Eddie immediately hears Buck’s voice.

“Eddie, you’re not leaving yet, right?”

“Oh, and I personally love being chopped liver, thank you,” Josh mutters in Eddie’s ear.

“Uh,” Eddie says, half a laugh that he can’t quite kill. “No, not leaving yet. Just..showing Josh where the bathroom is.”

Hen and Karen are exchanging delighted looks, and Maddie mouths tell me everything at Eddie, or actually, maybe at Josh. Beside her, Chim gives him a thumbs up. Lucy, without looking away from Eddie, smacks Ravi on the shoulder, and when Ravi looks up from his phone, his eyebrows raise about into the atmosphere.

“Uh, I can just point it out,” Buck says, belligerent. He’s got a storm-cloud expression on his face that makes Eddie remember his first day at the 118, Buck scowling at him every second. “It’s right over - “

“Thanks Buck, but Eddie’s got this,” Josh says, and then to Eddie, not quietly, “Do you know if the bathroom door locks?”

“Okay,” Eddie says, and starts dragging him away. An ill-advised glance back at the table shows everyone talking like normal, except for Buck, who is staring after them with a face like he just got slapped. Eddie kind of wants to smile at him, shrug and smile, see if Buck smiles back or keeps looking mad. He looks at Josh instead. “The hell.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Josh says, not sounding sorry, “but I reserve the right to be a little bit of a bitch to Buck when he’s acting that possessive with my very own bar hook-up.”

“Look, maybe he’s into you. He got kinda weird when I started hanging out with Tommy, before they dated.”

They reach the bathroom, which is single stall and does, in fact, lock.

“I’m sure that’s why he didn’t even notice I was there,” Josh says with a roll of his eyes. “Eddie, he was trying to mark his territory, which is you. Not in a friend way, let me be clear, because apparently you’re both morons.”

“Buck doesn’t,” Eddie says, an electric flash through his body, and Josh sighs.

“You know what, no,” he says. “You wanna talk about your feelings, this is not the time and I’m almost definitely not the person. I’m trying to get laid here.” He pointedly locks the door and raises his eyebrows. Josh is always challenging him, always pushy, always annoying him in this way. In this one way that’s making Eddie’s skin itch.

Eddie presses him against the bathroom door and kisses him. His lips are soft, his tongue sure and clever, and then he pushes Eddie back.

“What?” Eddie says.

“I’ve always had a theory about you,” Josh says, flashing that smile again, and then he puts his hands on Eddie’s head and pushes him down, down...

“Uh,” Eddie says, going where Josh pushes him.

“That you’d look great on your knees,” Josh finishes, by which point Eddie is, in fact, on his knees, looking up at Josh.

“Oh yeah?” Eddie says, a challenge, ruined by the way it comes out like Eddie’s already halfway there just from being put on his knees. “How do I look?” He tries the slow blink Josh used on him earlier, and Josh exhales sharply.

“You look…” Josh puts a firm hand on Eddie’s jaw, thumb pulling his lower lip down. Josh’s eyes meet his. “Hungry.”

“What do you mean,” Eddie says. Then he’s got two fingers in his mouth, and his lips close around them automatically.

“I know your type,” Josh says. “You’ve been jerking off to guys since you were a teenager, but you decided it couldn’t mean anything. That couldn’t be you.” He pulls his fingers out of Eddie’s mouth slowly, almost all the way, then pushes them back in. “I wonder how many times you thought about having a cock in your mouth or up your ass and it made you come so hard you thought you’d die. You’ve wanted this for so, so long.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything at all. He doesn’t tell Josh that he’s right, that he’s been thinking about it for years, hundreds of times. The shock hits him, recognition and lust and yeah, a little pain, and before he knows it, he’s ducking his head to take Josh’s fingers deeper into his mouth. Slowly, slowly, his tongue comes alive, and he starts to suck.

“See what I mean?” Josh says, kind of out of breath. His other hand is at Eddie’s jaw, making him look up at Josh. Eddie’s eyes drag up him slowly, catching on the bulge in his jeans. Josh quirks a smile. “Starving.”

Eddie makes a sound like mhm around Josh’s fingers, and it comes out desperate. He’s starving. He’s ravenous. Josh takes his fingers back slowly, and Eddie licks his lips.

“You ever do this before?” Josh says.

“No,” Eddie says. “But I’m a fast learner.”

“That you are,” Josh says, as if to himself, and he starts unbuckling his pants. Eddie’s hands are over his in a flash, taking over. Josh tosses him a smirk. “Overachiever.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything. Eddie’s getting Josh’s jeans, his boxers, out of the way. Josh is fully hard, and Eddie, with a feeling like he’s snapping back into his body, realizes his own cock is pushing out the front of his pants.

It’s quick and dirty. Josh feeds Eddie his cock, and Eddie goes to work on him, and it’s easy except for remembering to keep his teeth out of the way. He can tell he’s getting it really right when Josh goes quiet, a look of quiet concentration on his face, and Eddie presses desperately on his own cock as Josh comes down his throat.

Josh hauls Eddie off the ground and kisses him, firm grip on his biceps, tongue in Eddie’s mouth like he’s trying to taste his own come. Eddie’s twitchy with arousal, hips thrusting forward against Josh haphazardly, getting nowhere.

“Okay, I have to ask,” Josh says, “were you thinking about Buck just then?” He’s teasing, but Eddie shivers from head to toe. Then he moans; Josh is cupping him through his pants. “Do you like that?”

“Feels good,” Eddie says. He’ll just ignore that first question.

“Not what I meant, but thank you,” Josh says, grinding the heel of his hand against Eddie’s hard cock. “Talking about Buck is getting you hot, isn’t it.”

Eddie has to sag against the door. The friction’s too good, and tiny muscles in his legs are trembling like they’d like to give out sometime soon. “You’re the one who brought him up,” he says.

“That is...not an answer,” Josh says. “Eddie, relax. You’re not exactly breaking my heart here.”

Eddie doesn’t have a response. He thrusts into Josh’s hand, looks at him helplessly. His hair is tousled beyond belief; did Eddie do that?

“You know what I think,” Josh says. “I think you love that Buck knows you’re in here with me.” And Eddie gasps.

A telling pause, and then Eddie says, “I don’t know, okay, fuck, Josh,” and Josh bursts out laughing.

“Fuck, sorry, I’m not laughing at you,” Josh says, and then, “It’s okay, I think I got my answer.” He unbuttons Eddie’s pants, shoves everything out of the way to jerk him off for real.

“How do you know all this shit about me,” Eddie demands. He’s sweating, under his arms, at the small of his back. “The fuck, Josh.”

“Like I needed a decoder ring?” Josh says, looking like he’s thoroughly enjoying himself. “If only I’d known when you were working at dispatch, I would have held it over your head whenever you backsassed me, which was, oh right, fucking constantly.”

Eddie groans when Josh gets his other hand on Eddie’s ass, fingers digging into the flesh, and he whimpers in his throat, shaking, thrusting into Josh’s hand. In his mind’s eye, he sees Buck, out there at the table. Maybe he’s glancing towards the bathroom, waiting for them to come back out. Maybe he’s thinking about storming in and pushing Josh away and getting Eddie off himself.

“I know you’re thinking about him. And you know it.” Josh leans closer, breathes, “When we go back out there, Buck’s gonna see it all over your face.”

“Fuck­ - “ Eddie sobs, and he keeps saying it as he comes so hard his knees buckle, fuck fuck oh fuck.

“Holy shit,” Josh says some time later, when Eddie’s senses have returned. “It’s always the quiet ones, I guess.”

Josh is laughing at him again. Eddie finds the energy to open his eyes, and says, “Who propositioned who here?”

“Guilty,” Josh says. “I did it for the queer community, to be honest. Would have been homophobic not to.”

“It would have been homophobic to not dirty talk me in a bar bathroom about Buck,” Eddie says, deadpan.

“Obviously. How is that even a question in your mind?” Josh says with one of those boyish grins. “Plus it probably would have taken you way longer to have that realization in therapy. You’re welcome!”

“Ugh,” Eddie says, and reaches out, finger-combing Josh’s hair back to presentable.

When they’re both zipped up and presentable, Josh surprises Eddie by giving him a quick, warm kiss. “This was fun,” he says.

“It was,” Eddie says. And it was, but neither of them mention doing it again.

Unsurprisingly, they get wolf-whistles when they come back to the table.

And Buck is in Josh’s seat.

“Show’s over, you animals,” Josh says, and then says to Eddie, “I’m gonna go chat with Maddie. Don’t miss me too much.”

When Eddie sits down, Buck looks at him like he’s never seen him before. Eddie thinks he might be looking at Buck the same way.

“Uh, you and Josh?” Buck says slowly.

“It was just for fun,” Eddie says. “Not gonna happen again.”

Buck’s going on a face journey that Eddie can’t even begin to decipher. “Cool,” he says, finally. And then he puts his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. Casually. Like this is some bro thing that they do.

Marking his territory.

Eddie moves a little closer, turning towards Buck so he can look at him. Buck’s not looking back, but pointedly away, a muscle ticcing in his jaw. He hasn’t shaved in a couple days, his face rough with scruff, and Eddie’s stroking the line of his jaw with one gentle finger before he can think better of it. Now he’s got Buck’s eyes on him, and he’s close enough that he can feel the quickening of Buck’s breath. He looks at Buck, lets Buck see his eyes lingering on his body. Buck’s solid, big, thighs meaty and muscular, and his arms. He can pick Eddie up. He has picked Eddie up.

Buck could put Eddie on his knees, easy. And Eddie would bet money that his cock is huge, that it would make Eddie’s jaw ache to blow him. Eddie would choke on him and beg for more, figure out everything Buck liked until he couldn’t help but come down Eddie’s fucking throat. He wants to create a topographical map of Buck’s body using only his mouth. He wants to ride Buck’s thigh until he comes. He wants –

It’s a good thing Eddie can’t get hard again quite yet. He meets Buck’s eyes again. Buck looks stunned. Utterly stunned.

“Are you tired at all?” Eddie asks.

“Tired,” Buck says.

“If you’re tired,” Eddie says, “we could share an Uber. To my place.”

Buck jerks a nod. He’s breathing – kinda fast.

“We’re uh, gonna go,” Eddie says to the table.

“Oh?” Chimney says. Maddie whispers something to Josh, who laughs behind his hand. Ravi is chugging his beer.

“Tired,” Buck says roughly.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Josh drawls. “Eddie, babe, you might want to get something to eat. You’re looking hungry.”

“You’re looking fucking annoying, Josh,” Eddie says, and Josh flips him off cordially.

On the way out, Buck says, “What did that mean?”

“I’ll, uh,” Eddie says. “I’ll tell you at home.”